22 Johnny Storm & the Potion of Fire
by redcloudedleopard
Summary: We see a more personal side of Johnny as he is manipulated by Diablo into a spree of doing evil. This is Azula's side of the story. The media attempt to hype up their talk about the new, more fiery Human Torch - & it has yet to prove to be a huge mistake.
1. Doused

I was at a crossroads whether or not I should use my 'butterfly palm' or 'butterfly twist' attack. Ben hung by one leg, dragged about by the monstrous bulk of water controlled by Diablo which was a teeny bit frightening. In shiny, repaired armour, Dad was slashing through a hand-shaped mass of dirt that constricted Reed. I heard him teasing the alchemist/magician with _"Pajama Party"_, causing me to roll my eyes. Hotshot, my updated nickname for Johnny ('Hotstuff' was getting old) exuberantly seconded my father's silly name for the villain.

"Just clobber him already!" he snapped at his best friend, his face creased. I heard Reed was absorbed in proving some _sciency_ thing to the bad guy. Diablo's cackling increased whilst he summoned the four elements - wind, rocky earth, water & a fiery beast in pursuit of 'ruling the world'.

I decided on the butterfly palm move, churning out as much fire as I could to cut the rolling stream of water tossing Ben about. It worked!

This was our toughest baddie in a long while, making a sudden appearance in an old historical corner in Central Park. The grounds had been closed off from the public, giving him a _glorious_ opening to do a big ritual involving colourful potions. He waved a hand & Reed & Ben were shoved powerfully by a mix of rock & sand.

Sue yelled for Hotshot to lend a hand regarding the tornado messing up her hair. Both the siblings were airborne; Hotshot flew smack into the twister, an intelligent move that quenched the flame beast hot on his tail. But he flamed off because of the strong gusts - & lost his ability to fly for the moment.

_Pajama Party_ held up the glowing red chalice - likely containing the potion controlling fire. I saw his lips moving swiftly, chanting whatever the ceremony required. I laughed as Hotshot landed onto him perfectly. A most convenient ending of a tiring battle dragging on into the evening. Now I could get home & finish off the last painting in my series I named "Flavour", as Ben was doing dinner, not me. I thought it time to make my way to my teammates, conjecturing what funny thing Johnny was about to say.

"You ruined the ceremony! Gahhh!" Diablo flung his empty chalice to the ground.

"Sorry. Geez…," said Hotshot. He was laughably coated in bright red spilt liquid. _Only I wasn't privy to what that fluid would do to him._

Unfortunately, we didn't know our baddie was part _ninja_ or something. A shiny green bead he fingered in his hand, before he blew it up & vanished in an icky smoke cloud.

* * *

"I NEED A SHOWER!" the lab shook, much to my amusement. We had to teach my boyfriend to keep his calm.

Meanwhile, Reed went on about _Pajama Party _who was apparently aged a few centuries. Dad & I had no trouble believing that because of the spirituality part of our lifestyle; Reed was the difficult guy debating with Dad & Ben about the existence of magic. Sue & I just threw glances at each other & enjoyed the little argument. Following the biological scans that concluded Johnny wasn't displaying odd effects of the potion, we got Hotshot down from the gurney at last.

I figured I'd accompany him to his room, just to hang around & make my draft sketch of the painting & take a look at his stuff… * cough cough * while he washed off the red goo in the bathroom. He wanted to hold my hand on the way there, but something invisible warned me about the very luminous stuff covering him.

"Nuh-uh-uh…you're a freaky glowing guy. No touching," I jerked away.

"Okay, okay."

I hope I didn't hurt him, pondering his action of letting me into his 'home within the home'. **What I found so desirable in him was kindness **that manifested itself at the unlikeliest of moments.

"Be out in a bit," he told me. Something interesting flickered in his eyes as he headed for the shower. He slid the washroom door shut & I snapped into a little nosiness…

First was the wall. Hmmmmm. A oldish poster of some 60s rocker, slanted on purpose, probably. So he fancied music where prominent percussion featured. To the right of that: a guy snowboarding, with his signature at the top right corner. Extreme sports, huh? That's tantamount to _fun_. I didn't bother with the third poster showing some snowy panorama scene. It reminded me of boring old China.

Snatching a glance at his blanket, I took in its red colour for a sec before thinking, _Too bad; I like BLUE._ I ventured to see what books he read - aside from Hot Rod mags, duhhh. Astounded as I was to discover they were mostly sketchbooks, even sweeter were his etches & sketches. Not detailed, but conveying the artist's intentions clearly. A lot of them were Ben tangled in all kinds of comical predicaments, though those took up the front portion of the book. At the back, his depictions were under the personal category. Except a noise interrupted me as I was about to digest those pictures. Hotshot made a panicky sound from the bathroom.

"You okay?"

No response. I waited ten seconds, then opened the door.

"Ohhhhhhh."

He'd melted the floor & fallen through. The loo had boiling water leaking out, & the shower tap was now semi-solid. Half of it was funny, but not for long. I rushed to the dining area where the rest were.


	2. The Potion's Mystery

"Ah, no worries. He'll be back up in no time. The kid had better not mess with my spag," Ben told me ever so coolly after he'd drained the pasta.

However, Hotshot returned about _an hour & a half_ later. He wasn't productive enough to take a dip in a lake to clean off the potion. Only Sue & I were left at the table reviewing my sketch with only our eyeballs. I did wish to talk to Johnny, though. "Johnny? Where've you been?" his sister questioned.

"Places. You got a problem with that?" he sounded stormy. Yikes! Rarely have I ever seen him so far from his sunny self. We stayed silent & he looked unusually beat, trudging back to his room.

Later I gave it a go knocking, hoping he'd at least elevate his mood for me if he was still feeling bogged down. There were strange hushed whispers from the door's other side. But no proper reply to my joke/question. My head wanted to nod like a heavy flower as the minutes went by; not even the sliding of his bathroom door was audible.

I gave up in the end though I yearned for a joke fest & not, figuratively, a partnerless dance. A new kind of quiet enveloped Hotshot's room, gradually making my body knot. Dad came down from Reed's lab to get me, saying that chilling with my boyfriend would be an impossibility at this hour. The evening had well crossed into latenight now.

* * *

His look lengthened out over me, taking in my blue flame jacket he'd made for me. He smiled at the sight of it but the smile could be described as "frozen" - creepy frozen. Something in me started to feel faint because of that leering look. My suspicions awakened when he took his seat at the opposite end of the table. _I'd saved a place beside my own for him! Was his brain melting away, too? _Luckily he could scrub off the nasty potion the night before.

Breakfast was scarcely over when the whole place began to feel overheated. Dad & I looked down to watch in horror as our eggs & toast continued to _cook_. The culprit wasn't a poltergeist, obviously. Sue & Reed who were nearest to Hotshot felt the brunt of his body heat & sweated buckets. It wasn't long before Dad perspired profusely as well.

Ben said, "I'd turn it down a notch, Flame Brain. We're all sweating here."

Johnny just chuckled. On a scale of one to ten, he was already scoring a two on my watch. Meaning I'd say he was 20% evil. I thought to myself, it wouldn't quite surprise me if the reading climbed. The poor victims of perspiration kept stuffing their handkerchiefs in their face. The award-winning part was that only Johnny had the gall to munch the food. The rest of us lost our appetites, gawking at the blackened stuff on our plates.

"Maybe I can cool things down. I got this," I said, breathing deeply & then attempting to absorb the air's excess heat. I could do it but to a certain extent where I myself experienced a feverish tingling. I felt my brain was being stretched apart by dull pain. "You need to cool _yourself_ down, too," came Dad's advice. So I switched off my powers for the moment.

"Johnny, are you feeling okay? Maybe you have a fever," Sue mentioned.

"Gee, _Mom_…thanks for your concern, but I've never felt better!" he exclaimed, "Window washers are in trouble, gotta go!" He suddenly darted through the nearest glass window, a plume of smoke trailing behind him. I'd call that the weird event of the day. "At least he's enthusiastic," remarked Ben.

Sue had to go after him & be the big sister, while I helped whip up a better breakfast for everyone.

I left Hotshot to his morning plans, which Sue said he wanted to do alone. Inevitably, she also gave a bitter little warning that her brother may exhibit a dangerous nature. We had to keep our eyes peeled although part of me was disheartened about the whole subject. Maybe nothing about Hotshot was mysterious to any degree. Maybe it was the Human Torch's abilities just under the weather. Thus I spent the morn finalizing my paintings to submit to a gallery or two uptown.

All this was done by lunchtime & I grabbed a very light meal at a café down West 57th Street. Some adorable kids asked me for my autograph on the way home. I snapped into training alone later despite the fact Hotshot wasn't there for my lesson for the day. Infinitely I preferred we call off the session anyway, since the potion may still take effect.

While I flipped, kicked & punched, Ben entered the room before I completed the two hours. I nearly knocked him off his feet with a _dragon spin kick_ set.

"Yo, Blue Blaze. You seen Matchstick?"

"Not since he mentioned those window washers."

"Well, guess what? My baby Hummer's got wheels that look like stringy cheese."

My scale reading rose to six: Ben banged on Johnny's door, & we both found an obnoxious 'fire imp' running about in there. Our eyes travelled to where Hotshot stood - in front of his mirror, savouring himself in his reflection. Still as stone, he refused to budge in spite of knowing we were watching. I was sensitive to his face expression, for his eyes had gone flat & hard.

It was enough to bring the scale to seven.

Ben signaled to me that we'd best keep away from that one room. Anyway, I didn't want my heart plunging to the floor by sheer accident…


	3. Disturbingly Drastic

In actual fact, I had a special finding that brought the scale reading down to a four. I reviewed it after fleeing from Johnny's charred, roasted room that afternoon with Ben. Secretly I had placed a video camera in there last night sometime between dinner & the time he got back. L.Y. helped me pull it off with first class stealth. She happily agreed that we both keep the video clip a lowdown, for I didn't want Hotshot to be more mad or hurt. Settled in the peace & quiet of my own room, I watched the scene appear on the computer screen before me.

Hotshot yelled boldly as if he was totally out of earshot. He'd gotten all the red liquid off his suit, but was now wrecking objects strewn about the place. All with alarming speed & force. The peculiar problem was how on earth could the others sleep through this, at 1.05A.M.? Maybe he scorched the comm devices & wiring along the walls & ceiling beforehand, & I wagered the other Fantastic Three were in Reed's lab. Moreover, H.E.R.B.I.E may've dismissed the equipment as merely faulty because of…I don't know...old age?

He was fingering the sketchbook I left open on his bed. I gazed curiously as he flipped to the last few pages,_ "Whatdya looking at?" _Then he flung the book against his TV. From his unrecognizable tone; imagery depicting his impenetrable cold eyes played in my thoughts._ "You're lucky I still came all this way without you," _he muttered next. Immediately my mind led me to the memory of Sue telling me about their broken family.

"_You had to go. But I didn't need you to get THIS!" _He blasted the wall posters to paper shreds in an instant.

"_Or THIS!" _He burned up a pile of stuff on the floor & his bed with the next attack_. _After all that he flamed on & let the fire extend out of himself the farthest it could go. _Laughing sounds _followed, & the recording came to a stop. L.Y. explained that the heat damaged the camera greatly when he did this. His last few trills of laughter were so disturbing they flowed down over me like freezing water.

"_Standby mode!"_ chirped L.Y. frantically, making the screen blank out. I was entertained, "What are you doing, L.Y.? I'm not finished!" My room door snapped open. Johnny was displaying symptoms of an ailment worse than just "under the weather".

He greeted, "Hey." First I looked into those blue orbs of his - they held no soft light still, & it was getting me cast down. The weight of ominous silence descended on the room, too. Dad was downtown & not anywhere near…I held my breath but in an unguarded manner.

"I've got great news - thanks to Diablo, my powers have seriously revved up," he began, making an unusual grin.

"That's easy to notice," I glanced at him flaming on his fists. He then rested a hand on my door, except he was harmfully igniting it! As the slow flames licked the surface, I raised my own hand to absorb the heat swiftly. He didn't apologize for his accidental misdeed.

"I was thinking if we could do some stuff in the city," he said coolly.

"Stuff like what?"

"Putting on a pyrotechnics show. Just you & me. You can gather a crowd & I'll entertain them. They'll love me when they see the new improved Torch! The media will come, & -"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa - I don't know, Hotshot," I bravely approached him, laying a finger on his mouth. It felt pretty hot; hotter than usual. I could swear that if I leaned on him for ten minutes, I myself may break a sweat. "It may be dangerous for the people."

"Dangerous? Puh-leeeze! They're _my_ powers. I can control them the best I can."

"I'm just saying hold your horses. Reed & Dad want to find out how the glowing potion's changing you."

"Right, I get it…you're scared I'll steal the show!" his eyes flashed to mine vividly. I can tell you his brows fiercely knit together.

"Since when?" my tone gained volume, "Here's a newsflash. I just gave _you_ great news: we're helping you, your image & especially other lives out there by playing safe!"

He crossed his arms in an impatient state. I added, "Johnny, believe me. That potion spells something bad. You shouldn't trust your own judgment." I reached out for his hand, "Teammates are the only ones you really trust."

He eyed my hand attentively, but shook his free the second I held onto it. "Whatever," he muttered. I might have seen his ferocious pupils dilating as he barked, "Tell me again, what would fun be without a little danger, Zed?" By that time he had leaned toward me as if to sneer some more. I had taken a precautionary step to shut both eyes. I refused to look.

"I've changed my mind. Sometimes I feel we ought to lock you here so you can no longer embarrass us!" came my response.

"Oh, yeah? You're just another one of those wimps! I'm leaving," he finished, & stormed down the hallway.

UGHHHHHHH. He outlawed it outright. If only I could pressure point his throat! Yet I kept the evilness reading unchanged, & heeded the law of **"do not repay insult with insult"**…The inconsistent puzzle piece was his special fondness for himself in front of me, as normally he would put me in the limelight in more of what he spoke of.

Ben & I had to be vigilant these few days.


	4. Latest on the Problem

The evening was passed: 1. Watching out for supervillains, Diablo in particular. 2. Performing a check on Leopard X's suit in the basement lab, since Dad was super occupied. 3. Lighting a little candle, putting it into my newly made makeshift 'altar' as I prayed, _Nothing rash, Hotshot. Nothing rash, please. _I heard not a thing from or about Johnny: until the next morning.

The clock struck ten when I lent Dad a hand (again) with some paperwork. Another time he'd left annoyingly early to go somewhere …Coincidentally I looked past the sheets I held up - a freshly burnt hole through our kitchen extractor hood! Instantly you'd know who'd be the primary suspect; I grumbled & cupped my chin in my palm. Then something really hot tugged at the bottom of my pants! As I put the little fire out, a cackling creature ran past the desk…

* * *

"Happenin' to you too?" said Ben, showing his cap. Or at least, one third of it that wasn't reduced to ash.

"YOU BET IT IS!" I answered, spotting movement some distance away.

"There!" More rail thin fire imps destroying the bonsai trees. Or searching for a new target to boss & prod. On perceiving them, I unleashed some _crescent cutters_ (yes, I name my firebending moves) at them, only they cocked an eye up to me too early & could escape.

Ben grunted, "We're gonna lay down some laws on the kid." Sooner or later, Reed, Dad & Sue wouldn't be tone deaf to Johnny's little imp army ruckus forever.

* * *

"Okay punk, what's going on here?" Ben bellowed.

Hotshot lifted his left hand, "Shhhhh….Watch this." His voice was icier than yesterday! We looked up, & the new training room water pipes were flowing with the deadly element _pyro_. I failed to pick up the excitement he felt in the air; on the contrary, I was beginning to be genuinely afraid of him & for him. "Awesome, right? We can make water burn," he savoured the words. I was begrudging his very presence indeed.

Ben expressed his fear, if there was any, using sharper speech, "It doesn't matter. Something ain't right with you! What's with the non-stop burning, & THESE LITTLE FIRE GUYS?" He jabbed at the four horrible imps flanking Hotshot.

I noticed too how his irises had gone molten. Or marbleized. Creepy beyond description. "Awwwww…have you boys been naughty?" he cooed, then petted one of his minions on the head as it cackled. "Don't sweat it, Grimm. I'll buy you a new room," he seemed to voice out a complaint more than an offer to help. Ben interceded, "Oh, I ain't through with that! Aren't you forgetting about _someone_ here?"

OH YES, HE WAS. I think my face scrunched up together horribly. Hotshot threw me the all too familiar face, & flamed on in rage, "WHAT NOW, CHUMP?" He'd had it. Perhaps he just fashioned the idea that we were envious of his newfound level of power.

He dashed away from the training room with his little companions backing him up. Everything from my thinking to my emotions stood at a standstill - like a trancelike state of confusion &/or sensitivity.

* * *

I'd been wondering if there was any _jabalabadoo_ in the news about Johnny. Worse, what if the media tweaked bits of the actual story? But it was fact more than fiction, as I walked the city streets & caught the news. The morning was sunny, though nothing could stop my mood from being 'gloomed over'.

_Pajama Party_ wasn't about to interrupt the peace of 'Top Six' (the code name for the Fantastic Four, Leopard X & Blue Dragon whenever they're mentioned together in the news) till later. But I knew the baddie was manifesting himself slowly in Hotshot's actions, like a mystery eventually unfolding whilst the curtains parted.

Bringing up my hood over my head, I kept strolling. A gathering a few blocks down interested me - &, confiding in my violet-coloured jacket to blend me in the crowd, I inched nearer. Their eyes were hooked on the medium-sized TV screen belonging to the stall owner. The newscaster offered unexpected gold for I had to listen to the report:

"_Of late, Johnny Storm, the ever so famous Human Torch has spent his time wrecking far too much public property than usual. He was seen melting windows, scorching a performance stage at Times Square, & superheating structures around the city in the past day. He has mentioned in public that his powers 'are far greater' & that 'no one can stop him from doing anything'. _

"_But as good news as it might seem, he has almost injured hundreds of passers-by, given his claims to have far hotter & more hazardous flames. Whether or not the Human Torch is making some sort of statement or is merely experiencing a change in his abilities, the public should exercise caution around the superhero."_

"Mommy, Mr. Torch looks very scary," a girl in front of me mumbled. Her mother nodded, "I know, Charmaine. You & Maria have to stay away from him."

I stood in the far corner beside an old lady who said, "Oh dear, I most certainly hope the boy's alright.."

We heroes kept just about all matters classified. Yet, I spoke just to the lady, "Me too. He really isn't himself."

"Well, dearie, we'd best lighten up. It may not be as bad as we think," came her pleasant advice. That was uplifting, resulting in me smiling under my hood.

"Hey! Get your boyfriend together, or he'll earn a "_freak_" ranking!" somebody shouted. I saw the guy angrily glaring at me from my right, & ran.


	5. Climax

"Are you serious? Little 'fire people'? He…talks to them?" asked doubtful Sue. I found out how busy a week she had sorting out the FF's behind-the-scenes work.

Ben started, "Yeah! I thought it was Johnny being weird but he's losing it, Suzy. Stretch, are you even listening?"

"No," announced Reed to the room.

"Reed, he was on the news this morning & the public's been warned -," I went on, except he hadn't turned around. "Reed?"

Sue wasn't convinced, given our unformidable weight of evidence, "Couldn't he just be messing around with you - you know, just another prank?"

I sighed, "He called me a wimp, Sue. Not what I thought I'd hear from him." Her hard expression softened the slightest.

Ben lifted a finger, "I've been taking gunk from that kid for years. But this…something's changed in him, & it's getting worse."

"Maybe it's my fault. _Our_ fault, rather," Sue turned to Reed despite his being engrossed in soldering the Neutralizer, "We should've helped stick around to keep a eye but, I…it's just…"

I went into overdrive, "It's Diablo! Who else could it be? What's taking you all so long to figure it out & -" "What am I, a mother hen or somethin'? Calm down, Blue Blaze!" snapped Ben.

"Sorry," I breathed, "Diablo's potion could be amplifying Hotshot's powers, & - it could be amplifying his emotions as well." My concern for Hotshot showed. "Let me show you something." I produced a special PDA similar to Reed & Dad's ones, playing the recording.

"See how he talks to the pictures & photos. He's hiding something," I added. Sue's face no longer glowed at the sight of his rampage, but wasn't surprised. Was it nothing new to her?

She told me, "You're right. The truth is…he thinks he's the odd one out in the team. I convince him that he isn't, only he wouldn't believe me. It's his biggest secret, Azula." I sunk into an amazing realization of how much each of us both needed the other. He'd pay attention to one who entered the problem with him. I felt strongly it was my job to intervene that way.

_The potion magnified his anger, his inner fire, all for failing to fit in. _I could comprehend. On the positive side, I would tell him how similarly I felt. If it wasn't too late.

* * *

Johnny doled out aggressive words, "You know what I think? I think you're SCARED of me!" However, he relished it. I was dipping in feelings of sympathy, as Hotshot continued, "I think I'm more powerful than all of you! & YOU WANNA TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME! Well, that's not gonna happen. I'm outta here!"

A nasty flash, & he'd replaced the colour of his entire form. "Now it's time for FIRE!" he thundered, engulfed in a reddish black inferno. We were under a major attack.

I froze, figuring to **only do to others what I wanted them to do to me.**

"Guess what sis? I haven't even _started_," he cackled after firing at Sue.

Ben delivered him a blow at safe distance but he copied the same move, flaming style. It looked so dangerous for my rock-hard friend! Fortunately Reed stepped in with a cool move to extinguish the flames.

The potion unearthed his very unreal streak - forming the highest rung of the evilness ladder. An excruciating second or two, but that was the peak of the pain. He'd torched my whole right arm, flames eating through my suit & seeping into the skin. Reed stood over me to shelter me but his uniform was charred when he attempted to wrap Johnny up.

Fed up, Sue trapped him in a bubble. He pounded the shield like a cooped up maniac. Then there was that light-bulb phenomenon happening: I looked at him, & I saw _me_. Nine years back.

"Sue, don't," I croaked.

Blinding us with charged up light energy, he broke free. His sister ordered H.E.R.B.I.E to open the doors, & took the battle outside with her brother. In spite of Ben & Reed's warnings, I took the lift to my unit. One minute to bandage my arm that looked a thousand times weathered, then rushed to help Sue. The pain made me giddy.

* * *

"SUE!" came my shout. He'd melted her force field & her brain couldn't take it. She wasn't breathing, I think.

"That's the last straw," I imagined myself as a tiger, hackles raised. He fireballed my hair!

In all the commotion, our eyes locked. Time to fight.

"You could've just BEEN HONEST, Hotshot! If there's anyone to help you fit in, it'd be me."

"YOU? TELLING ME TO FIT IN? I DON'T NEED ANYONE! YOU'RE ALL AFTER ME, & THIS POWER!"

"Don't lie to me. I know how much you're _hurting_ -"

There was absolutely no kidding in his improvement in combat. He remembered so many moves in this one match. Then the horrible sound drove into me like screws.

Had I hit a car? _Had a car hit me?_ After some mid-air twisting I found myself by a blackened mailbox. I heard a mention by him that Sue was a 'so sad' case, & ought to be put out of her misery. There was a vehicle I could crawl under for a better view at what he was now up to; I dragged the incredible weight of my body forward, with my good arm. Sounds of raging fire wafted from where Sue had fainted.

I melted into the world called unconsciousness too soon.


	6. Corridors

Time slowed slightly, then smeared with what was happening. To fill a hole I may've left open previously: my entire right arm was limp as a dead fish. Like I said, it felt like it'd been weathered many many times consecutively. I came away with the right side of my body enduring a burning pulsing sensation. Only my arm had been injured but _all_ the nerves in my right half seemed to dislike that very much.

As if he was walking magma, Hotshot had committed a wrongdoing beyond his own imagination. Wonder whether he knew that…However, I experienced another side effect of the crazy inferno action; inwardly, roiling & boiling me gradually was an old fear gone ancient. Literally I looked into the eyes of a demonized Human Torch; figuratively I was looking into the Azula that brought shame with fame (a package deal, if you like) in the past.

An energy radiating out to me melded me back into reality. The ground was rocking back & forth. Or so I thought - it was the heat _his_ body created! The blur of voices, one of which I recognized as Dad's could be half heard. I knew a second voice almost right after that - directly above me - urgent & protective one minute, soothing the next.

My senses came back to life. Pain felt like an additional sixth to the first five. Both eyes snapped open & involuntarily my head turned to see him trying to carry me. Sight wasn't my sharpest at that moment so I was helpless in telling whether his blue orbs were normal again. I failed to make out his face properly, too. I began to freak out, body quivering without my control.

The pair of hands suddenly let me go very very slowly - probably reluctantly. My head came in contact with hard tarmac, I think. Nausea was the next addition to the pain.

I didn't intend to express hate or fear particularly toward him. Really did I hope he got the right message out of my shivers - it was simply the wound on my arm, not him, that I was scared of. The stupid burn triggered old memories, more suitably called little nightmares. A reminder of my own wrongdoings. So _this_ was how the people I hurt felt. I guess this was a kind punishment, or an eye-opening revelation.

But I sensed that deep inside him, his heart held me secure…somehow I knew it.

When I regained the most strength I could get, minutes later, Dad helped me walk to the nearest E.R. _He _insisted that he accompany us, but I didn't speak to him on the way there. At the touch of _his_ hand I jerked & pulled away like an automaton. Finally, he decided to walk silently behind us both. Although I didn't want it looking this way (giving him the false impression that I hated him), I still refused to be reminded of what _he_ lost himself in - because it'd remind me about what _I_ did.


End file.
